<It’s a simple trick used here.  There’s no ‘I’m’ or ‘I’ve’ as they’ve been substituted.  The rest is as should be.  Try reading it aloud>

daer faleme

ahm bineg oimisittopc hree in amiusnsg taht tihs has been gvein to a flaeme to raed as form the look of me hindnag tihs in to the acnegy to be dbirutesid asiolngde my ptcih vedio tehy mgiht jsut sned me a misot chiamos wpepard anruod a hneitag balenkt pglgeud itno a car btteray wihch i can cddlue up to on clod lnleoy nhigts uedur the isliluon taht the wram samer ahm pevicering wtih my durg adelded mnid and elnaterly sewcred vioisn is the woamn of my dermas and not smoe paihtetc sntad in tahts aobut as ufseul as a cocenrte viagna for whcih ahv been cagrehd an aanl pilgailng aunmot of menoy

if you haevnt araledy dnot wtcah my ptcih veido if you eevr wnat to eat aigan wtoihut hivnag to lnik a feidneg tbue form yuor niotsrls dwon yuor torhat as tahts the rutoe yuor cewehd up food is gnoig to tkae as you pkue it out of yuor nose lkie a wtaer prak disenegd by monoric cnanabiles due to the flsah bakcs of my face that yolul seffur erevy fefiten sencods baeucse ahm that dman mroebaleme

so av been asekd to say a bit aubot mlyesf in the hoeps of wonoig a siliamr paretnr whcih is all the rgae apeprnalty baescue weve all bceemoe so dsiratcted by cmoisc prtuisuts anmial hsnbuardy and fgiuirng out how to trun the sky pnik bceasue an ailen god told us taht taht was how to fix ervey porbelm konwn in the uinvrese dtanig aegnices are the olny maens by wchih the huahn rcae can svruvie i porpsoe we cut all the carp and jsut hvae eevrynoe sned in a seprm smpsle and an ovray and wehl jsut siht out the nxet gnereatoin form a ppie isntaed of wrorynig aobut taht diesase rdiden sex thnig tahts aobut as sfae as tiyng up a corcodlie pluling out all its teteh kciknig it in the rpetilain blolokcs and tehn utnynig it for a ncie big hug but tihs isnt aobut cahngnig the wrold its aobut gtetnig me a dtae so ahll get on wtih it

it mgiht hvae ocucrerd to you arleday taht i tihnk vrey fsat and taht it all tnagels tgoetehr bceasue i dnot lkie a wsate of tmie and ernegy how i tutter and raect is for the smae raeson tohugh tahts also to do wtih the fcatiod taht i bleivee the dveil is tyrnig to setal my suol by clolectnig all the uunsed bits of my lfie and peicnig tehm tgoetehr utnil he has a rpelcia of me taht i will tehn be pluled itno due to smoe cleestail krama vcauum thgouh i may be worng on taht lsat prat bceause my preceptoin of the wrold is alelgeldy a bit dfifernet to eevrynoe esles so myabe you dnot feel the smae way aobut the dveil and so wnot udnerstnad my need to do eevrythnig at a mlilion blilion mlies an huor in wihch csae you can fcuk off or at laest psas tihs onto a firend who deos lvie lfie at seped ocacsioanl buots of voilence sohulndt be too mcuh to hnadle etiher tohugh tahts hradly my fualt as ahm not tleling all the ainmals to sewar at me in a tuorettes culsterfcuk wehneevr i pass by wihch laeves me wtih the otpion of me tkaing bieng claled tawtfaecd cnut fsiter by a suqirrel or silngnig gerat haevy ojbects at it utnil its forthnig sukll epxloeds oevr my sohes if av frogotetn to birng my gun

but all tahts my fualt eevn wehn i got smoe ptiy tbalets to mkae the wrold a bit lses srtagne and a tuoch lses porvocatvie atfer i mnetioend to a dcotor in psasing taht the pgieons keep cahntnig at me to qiut bieng a psusy and jsut klil eevrynoe and taht wehn I was at tarfalagr suqare i vrey naerly did jsut so tehyd get off my csae tehy wreent bieng smypatheitc or udnersatndnig wernchnig a few qiuds wroth of tablets out of the festering decrepit monkey scrotum which is the dying embers of the NHS doesnet mean they actually feel for what yure going tgruhorh its still your flaut its my fualt i fnid a bit of sneselses voilecne tkaes the sitng out of lfie and its my fualt taht av got a rsetrainnig odrer form eevry pet sohp and zoo in the cuontry bceasue smoetiems tohse ltitle fcukers do get to me and i lsah out and its my fualt taht i dtich all the gvoernmnet garnet huosnig to suqat aobve carck dnes to get my fix

arlihgt so myabe taht lsat one is my fualt in a not so mcuh fualt as end rseult of the cohices av mdae aobut durgs srot of way but it is vrey ufnair thht av olny got tihs hbait bceasue smoenoe siad sinff taht wtihuot tleling me waht it was one day and I ddint konw taht jsut taht was eonugh to hvae me dpeendnet and hokoed on dorss for the rset of my ptaheitc ltitle lfie iamgnie my utetr shpincetr clolapsnig dleight at fnidnig out taht it was dorss the msot adidctvie durg taht eixsts and wihch can olny be mdae form tkaing the dry srhiveleld feaces of the carck ccoaine adicdted frementnig tehm in a saeled jar wtih cat psis and tehn ihnalnig trhoguh a srtaw jmamed so far up yuor lfet nsotril taht it may vrey wlel jsut be giong up to caot yuor barin in a borwn flim so waht ahm gteting at hree is taht if yuore on dorss too tehn dfeinitley get in tuoch bceause tehn wlel udnerstnad wewre weer ecah cmoing form and can cook up vats tehotoger

i hvaent raelly got any ohter itnerests aisde form dorss and msaturbatoin so if yuore up for bieng prat of taht cmobinatoin tehn get in tuoch so the aegncy can sned me yuor vdieo and lteter and tehn dnagle you out lkie a cehese snadwcih to a dseert ilsand sruvivor utnil i cuogh up the csah for yuor addsres i dnot lkie giong out mcuh but I ejnoy flims and ahl wtach aynthnig you lkie as lnog as it deosnt hvae too mnay ainmlas in it

lokonig frowrad to haernig bcak form you woheevr you are i hpoe taht i can be the guy for you as mcuh as i hpoe you can be the gril for me

form me

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 3rd, 2008 at 7:06 am and is filed under Short Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.