The Baby Jesus Butt Plug
by Carlton Mellick III

I haven’t started on ‘Satan Burger’ by Mr III, but I got through this little ditty a little while ago.
It’s not *exactly* what you think it’s about from the title - it’s somehow worse and more graphic. You can buy celebrity-shaped butt plugs already, so I went into this one with a hip, one-shouldered shrug figuring straightforward kink and blasphemy. Boy was I wrong. Baby Jesus is a living, wriggling commodity that turns out to be questionably evil depending on what you do with him. Kinda like the real thing.
It isn’t ’shit yourself still standing’ laugh-out-loud, but it is ‘colon prolapsing, crawling up your back and reading over your shoulder with slack-sphincter amazement’ funny. The dialogue is sharp and naturalistic though still shamelessly unreal, and the surreal world releases III’s shackles to really comment on our own, only slightly surreal world.
As my first real jaunt into the bizzaro genre, it was a real treat. For anyone looking to start on this world, I highly recommend The Bizzaro Starter Kit .

Kayleigh J Moore is a 23 year old author living in the Cotswolds in the United Kingdom.