<10 mins>

Alice had grown up with and so had had plenty of time to get used to having a sentient and moody vagina, but it could still be a completely pain.  Sometimes quite literally in the arse when it clenched up petulantly and he had to improvise.  Tonight looked like it was going to be one of those nights.

She’d sat through the obligatory third dinner date before coming home with Chris, and now with him groaning away on top of her and running his hands beneath her clothes, her lips had already pursed disapprovingly.  Grabbing his head and sucking at his bottom lip, Alice clenched her eyes shut and mentally screamed at her vagina.  This was the first man she’d been really interested in for months and she wasn’t going to let it screw things up for her at the first physical hurdle.

Her vagina gave a slight twitch. ‘No’.

Moving her hands up to hold Chris’s head, she forced a smile.  “I’ll be right back’.  He let her slide out from under him on the sofa and watched her make her way to the bathroom with her handbag at the well-known ‘just gotta put my diaphragm in’ pace.

Locking the door behind her, Alice tore out her compact mirror, took off her underwear and propped a foot up on the side of the bath.  “Now listen: I like him a lot, and you’re not going to mess this up for me.  It’s not all about sex, you know.”

Her vagina clenched a single shrug, up and down.  ‘I’ll taste bitter.’

“You taste shit in a good mood,”  she hissed back.

‘I’ll dry up like an old woman’s cooch’ it purred with a sinister twitch.

Alice reached back into her handbag and produced a bottle of lubricant.  “I’m so ahead of your game.”

Her vagina pulled itself together angrily.  “Fuck you.”

“Oh that’s Chris’s job, and I intend him to fuck you quite thoroughly.”

Social Bookmarking:

This entry was posted on Monday, February 25th, 2008 at 4:01 am and is filed under Flash Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.